Moving On

Well, lots has happened since I posted last. My divorce is officially final. My ex seemed to be having second thoughts. He didn't, but it caused me to consider reconciliation. I didn't feel good about it. If I had, I would have done everything I could to do so, but I really felt awful about it. I realized I didn't want to put my kids through everything that they had been through again. My ex has waffled about wanting me for so long that I realized there was nothing different here, and I would not do that to myself or my kids again. It really went a long way to helping me get beyond "he left me, I'm a victim" feelings. I feel like God helped me to realize that if I had the choice, I still would choose my current situation. It feels so good to be realizing that life is not over, and I am actually happy now. Sure, money is so tight it's screaming and I'm a student trying to work and get the education I need, while trying to be the Mom my kids need. It's hard. But God is helping me, and I am starting to enjoy the idea of a fresh start. And my kids, who have had a really rough time, are settling down now that I seem a little more normal and happpy. Its really, really good to be in this emotional place after such a harrowing year.