Acceptance and Mercy

The actress Susan Sarandon has been quoted (I am paraphrasing) as saying,"The bigger the mistakes, the more you learn." I agree.

I've done really well healing, and I want others to know what has helped me so much. My divorce is over, and I want to be a new, better, refined me. My divorce has been a great learning experience, it is done and over with. It has been the most difficult and painful thing I have ever gone through, and I am grateful for the lessons I have learned.

My life is starting again, maybe not new, but it has been newly 'rebooted.' I will always grieve for the loss of a simple family unit and the pain my children have experienced. Those feelings,while will always be there, are getting easier to live with, and I am happy on my own. I am not emotionally needy, either, which is pretty incredible. Many need 'that special someone'. I'm not saying that I wouldn't like someone like that, but I'm happy now, not desperately looking for Mr. Right. I feel more confident in me than I have in many years.

In his book "The Peacegiver" by James L. Ferrell, he explains through story form that when we are using the Atonement to remove the hurt, the Lord fills us with Christlike charity that fills up that hole inside with love for those who have hurt us, and if our companion decides to stay with us, then wonderful. But if they don't, we can take comfort, we have gained a companion in Christ.

I'm not perfect, and every so often I still get angry, frustrated, hurt, and all those feelings from the Adversary, because I am not yet perfect. I am improving, and for the most part I feel whole, and I do feel that companionship that Brother Ferrell has talked about. I personally feel this is why I'm not feeling those vulnerable 'I need someone to love me' feelings. It's really freeing. I want who I am to define me, not my divorce or my past mistakes. I want to leave behind the bad in the dust and enjoy the positives that are mine now. And, happily, I am doing it.

There is an article from the Ensign Magazine (look under Latter-Day Saint Voices) called Read Your Book of Mormon that really resonates with me. It is very similar to my own experience dealing with the loss of my marriage. This lady was dealing with the loss of a baby, but our experiences with the healing power of the Atonement were very similar. You might want to check it out.

An other article that is more of a report in the church news is by President Packer. This is about things that we have personally done wrong, and it has been helpful to me. We all deal with the agony of, "I should have done this, I shouldn't have done that" with the dissolution of a marriage. This is a good place to start to heal from this aspect of divorce, if you are interested: One Truth Most Worth Knowing by Elder Packer. It's a very good perspective. If we can just move beyond the "I need to" stage to the "I'm following through" stage, life gets much better quick.

Hope this helps you as much as it has me. I'ts just my humble opinion that it will.

Leaving Adversity Behind

I have found a great article from the Ensign magazine. It really has helped me. It was a nice reminder, sometimes we all need a pep talk. Especially me.:)

Leaving Adversity Behind by Elder David S. Baxter

You are not forgotten. Not now, not ever. Articles like this prove it. Keep looking to our Father in Heaven for help and comfort. He is there. Just ask him for the help and change of heart you need. He won't let you down.